...the second half of this story were true...

...I would really be happy today. So anyway, we have this corporate scheme at work where we can get a fairly decent mobile phone account for cheap. My workmate was getting it so I just jumped on the bandwagon to spice my life up a bit. The sales representative turns up at work so we could sign our papers. She was extremely hot. I mustered up all of my courage and and after the meeting I asked her out on a date. She said: "Fuck dates!", and we proceeded to make lots of seks in the bathroom.

...we could turn on and off our senses...

...then one would be to choose not to hear something particular, or not taste something if it's disgusting. Or if someone farts in a lift (elevator for you who may not know) then, just turn off your sense of smell and it won't bother you. Same goes for touch. Just hurt your leg? Turn the sense of touch off and you are fixed. Luckily we have some control over our eyes, what with being able to close and open them at will. That level of control would probably be enough. Most importantly of all, I would be able to ignore you more easily! Finally, as a fun fact for you all, please note that humans have between nine and 21 senses as opposed to the five you all know and love.

...we could naturally walk vertically up walls...

...then we could get rid of stairs in buildings. We would only need a shaft of some sort and people would be able to walk to their respective floors. Apart from that it would immediatly mean that people falling of buildings would simply grab on to the walls and immediatly be safe. Of course, if we can do it, machines to drive up walls would exist as well and so one could use a regular car to climb Mount Everest. Not particularly useful, but a fun thing nonetheless.

...I had enough time and talent to write a book...

...I would write a biography on my room mate. In it I would write about his escapades including his excellent pant dropping skills, hit and run tactics, proper mobile phone usage and general drunk antics. Furthermore I would elaborate on several of his theories including, but not limited to, the world famous JST (1 year old today), the downsides of owning your own tower and aquarium culture. It would be an instant best seller and would make people around the world despair at having a boring life in comparison. But laughter would still prevail.

...cats looked both ways before crossing the street...

...then some of us would still have a perfectly intact car. Stupid cats! What a waste of an animal.

...I had something to do...

...then I wouldn't be bored out of my mind thinking of chewing my arm off only so I could have an excuse to do something, like going to the hospital. However that would leave me with no arm. I better find something to do really fast because the thing I was doing (i.e. writing this) is coming to an end real soon.

...I could draw flash animations...

...then I would create an array of characters and have them go on adventures and stuff. Like Homestarrunner and Weebl's Stuff but less funny. Still, with the cumulative thought and imagination power of all the group we could probably come up with something awesome. Furthermore I would have done an animation of a Galaga-like game to the beat of a particular early 2000 tune which I have been trying to remember and would therefore be able to remember it now.